This little set of blurbs about toys, as if it were written in the 1896, was a fun read.
Some additions I would make:
Regarding the Tomma-gotch-ee,
Unfortunate is the tomma-gotch-ee that finds itself in the hand of an owner who finds the pixelated dung piles cute. Death will visit it soon.
Regarding the Fur Beast,
To the future owner, always keep a screwdriver at hand. For if neither song nor touch calms the beast, a swift crack with the screwdriver will. As the batteries fall, so will silence.
Regarding "The Gak,"
Let it be known that the Gak is short-lived. For soon after it has been played with, it shall be named the Fuzz.
